Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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