He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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