I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize