I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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