I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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