I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
the raccoons are back...
Randomize