Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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