Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
a search helicopter?!
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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