everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
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