I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
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