i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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