i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
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for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
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I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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