i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
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What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize