He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Oh god it's open bar.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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