So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize