member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
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weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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