Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
did i walk over a car last night?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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