Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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