My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize