the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize