Her vagina should come with caution tape.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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