Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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