I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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