I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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