As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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