I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Randomize