it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
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It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
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Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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