ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize