Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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