would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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