She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize