So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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