hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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