You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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