No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
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I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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