I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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