a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize