Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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