She announced her abortion via fbk
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Ladies don't puke and tell
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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