The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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