Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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