Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
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I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
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I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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