Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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