He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
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I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
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Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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