Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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