Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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