fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize