turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize