you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
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She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
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nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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