obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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